Cement Mixer

On Sunday, Colin came up to me and said - Mama, can I ask you (for) something?
Me- Sure, baby, what is it that you want?
Colin- Can you buy for me a Cement Truck?
Me- You mean a toy Cement Mixer Truck? (crazy me, of course a Toy lah)
Colin- Yes, and also an Excavator but not with wheels, I want the Excavator with tracks. 
Me- You mean like a belt track wheels?
Colin- Yes. Can you buy books on Construction and Excavators?
Me- Can I borrow the books from the library for you?
Colin- Yes. Thanks, Mommy. 

 Tourists Boat 

 Commercial Vessel 

 Tug Boat

My "Positive Mental Attitude" weaned off after a decade.
So, I begin to read and apply these again. 

Sometimes, I worry too much. Now, I try to snap out of it. 

Sometimes, I can't decide if I want KiCo to enter into Tao Nan. 

I mean, of course I want and I wish. The school is just across the road from us. 

First, there is the balloting. Then, there is the standards.

I have no idea what to expect and I also wouldn't want to hear about the stress from studying. 

I hope we could have a pleasurable Primary School Education process and still do amazingly well academically.

Is that possible? How do I steer that way.

I need to reboot and re-look into balancing my life.

I want to be a Mother who emits quiet strength, patience, generosity, and above all; faith.

Just that day, Kiki said the F word. She said something something fucking smell.

I was so angry, I asked her to clarify what she had just said.  She said "Farting smell" 

I think she might have said Farting but it sounded like Fucking because I am guilty of scolding "Fucking Idiot" when I am angry. Which happened more often the past few months. I should never have done that. It is careless, loose with coarse language and a terrible example. I have to be more aware of my behaviour. 

It is so tough to be patient. 

I carried out an exercise on myself. 

I said to myself, every time I feel my patience thinning, just say it in my head -- "Loving Kindness", regardless situation or subject person. I did that for a few days but abruptly, one freaking event threw me off my well intended tracks. 

Then I thought to myself, what an idiot I am to think that I could hold on to that mantra. 

But still, I hope to try again.