Because it's better to have loved than never loved at all.
IMHO
can you tell that I've been crying?
bye-bye nice numbers. till never again.
we ate before class because we had to rush to another location for a rehearsal.
after so many years of commuting from Marine Parade to Novena, i have just discovered that there is one bus that takes us to Bugis and another bus that goes straight to Novena, at the door-step some more. for all the years i had spent on taxi fare, i don't feel the pinch because i think there is something wrong with my brain in relation to money. i don't feel a thing when i have money, i only will feel terribly miserable when i don't have it. the earlier years of traveling in cabs was for convenience and time-saving, especially when Kiki was younger. so i don't feel any pinch having spent that money. so now that she is more energetic and robust, we travel by bus to many places. sometimes, it is even faster than using Grab or the taxi. and sometimes, we chance upon episodes that are heaven-sent. for instance just that Saturday, as we were rushing off to the Chinese Swimming Club, guess who boarded the same bus as us? Teacher S. she asked if we want extra lessons with one of her students who lives in the same estate. i said yes but we will have to go to her place as my place is very.......... "packed". i told her about having my in-laws plus Charmaine at my place, hence it isn't convenient for her student to come over. i explained that i had initially engaged in another teacher to help with coaching Kiki on the violin for the Suzuki method but over time, her teacher went on with the Trinity College syllabus. Teacher S was cool about it, in fact, she commented that it is kind of me to have my in-laws reside at my place. i wasn't expecting a conversation on that, plus i don't think a single term like "Kind" could represent a complex situation. every day brings different challenges, every day i deal with what i humanly could but it eats away my soul when i still have to deal with a partner who some of the morning gets out from the wrong side of the bed (figure of speech). the worst feeling is not about dealing with the challenges, it is about having to do it alone. there is no end to the anger he has over our helper who displays disinterest in her work. if only Bren could learn to accept it, it would be better for himself and myself. as i buffer the impact of the anger that translates into mean treatment towards Kiki, i feel terrible having Kiki bear the brunt of his bad temper that is mostly triggered by my inaction in handling our domestic issues which originated from him parachuting his family into my home. as always, i take the good, forget the bad, and be honest about it. always.
waiting for her while she has the rehearsal.
that little girl, lights up when she makes new friends. especially music friends.
chats and laughs a lot. me so envious. haha.
it is so nice to have kindred spirit friends, friends to do music together.
dinner was late, ice cream was even later but it had been a wonderful day despite the underlying sorrow over another matter which i'll talk about it in another day.
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