I am so Bored!

I am so bored I don't know what I'm gonna do for my birthday tomorrow.
I'll have a massage, have my fengshui consultation, then--- no other programme.

I might have lost some excitement as I age and have gotten bored. Only boring people get bored, I'd admit to that. I used to celebrate my birthday for over a month, every weekend, but as I age, I no longer get as excited. It's not a bad thing though, as I feel that I've become more caring for others rather than being self-centered when younger. Furthermore, I no longer need much activities to feel assured of being loved, nor do I need elements of surprises to feel warm. I am very much myself now than ever before.

The stark difference this year is that Adeline is missing and is being sorely missed. She probably was extremely hurt by me, though none of us had anticipated that we would ever become like this. Never in my wildest dreams will I ever think that at this age, I might still loose a friend, a dear one may I add. I guess there is still that much about life that I haven't figured out. How could a decade of sharing vanish? Was it not real? It is no wonder that the Buddha said that life is transient but I would like to think that what we had was real while it lasted. I would never have imagined that I could have hurt her that badly but apparently, I have. I can only wish for her happiness and may time heal any pain.