Eensy Weensy Mother

I am a pathetic mother.

I had several evening engagements the past three nights and missed the regular 1-hour playtime with Kiki and worry that her faint fondness of me may wane.

To add fuel to fire, a person commented to me that I must have offended my baby since she still does not call me 妈妈 (Ma Ma). She said flatly, "a baby does not have to learn to call 妈妈 , you must have offended her that's why she's not calling you". Oh, that's under the belly you fella! I've got to work you know! Anyway, the next thing I know, I flew home trying to catch Kiki before she falls asleep. She was falling asleep and so, in my attempt to let her know I was there, I sang softly to her her favourite song, "Eensy Weensy Spider". She made the spidy-crawling actions with her hands and clapped at the end of the song. What a delight for me.

After my shower and some unwinding, I took out the music sheets on a few nursery songs. I was going through the songs, deciding which one to start putting down the CEG-s GAB-s on the notes for Maricar to play on the keyboard with Kiki and then a thought came to me,,, I must not give Maricar the Eensy Weensy Spider music sheet. I must reserve that song for Kiki and me. That song is like "Our Song", special to the two of us. Because I was blown away when Kiki did the spidy crawling action when she was like,, can't remember,, a few months old. and she will Always clap at the end of that song. (she claps only for songs she likes, she is very sure on what she likes). And so, in one second of selfishness, I want to reserve this song sheet for just me and her. But on a second thought, I relented,,, and let it go. I cannot intentionally deprive Kiki from having an enjoyable time. Be it Kiki having fun with any person, I must do my part and my best to let her enjoy every happy moment, even if I know I am missing it. Even if it means she may grow fonder of another person over me.

*sigh* what a decision for me. But I am glad I came through my senses and let my wisdom come over me. I have to be a selfless mom. Welfare of Kiki comes first.