Thanks, but no thanks

I can never understand why my friend invited us to her house, let her daughter guide Kiki on the violin and piano, and then later got upset with us when Kiki (1) had refused to greet her (my friend), (2) refused to say "thank you" before leaving. She gave Kiki a lecture which I will not elaborate. I can only say this-- when someone else lectures your kid in your presence, it real lecture is for you (the parent), and I accept the lecture even though it was uncalled for. 

If you just read this episode as written, it would sound like we were being (1) rude, (2) uncultured, (3) ungrateful, but it is none of those. We are appreciative of the offer, of the refreshing perspectives on how small, little adjustments and pointers helped polish our skills up so effectively, and we think the appreciation between Kiki and the teen is reciprocal or at least I feel the girls found congeniality with a young girl learning musical tips from an older girl who in turn, enjoyed lending advice (and seeing it bloom).  I am also appreciative of the dinner (sar boh claypot rice and white fungus soup) which my friend had asked her helper to prepare. For someone like me who doesn't cook, I am appreciative of home cooked food and I could feel the concerted efforts my friend made despite her absence. 

So what happened?

All bad is my bad. I think firstly, I lost track of time and didn't notice it was 10.30pm at night. When my friend got home, I still had the cheek to comment - "Oh, you're back early".  which first and foremost, was my bad. (after inviting us to her place, my friend realized that she had made an earlier date with her friends, but she asked us to carry on at her place since it was her daughter who had wanted to coach Kiki).

Second bad was that I had abruptly asked a tired Kiki to greet my friend, which put her on the spot and she clamped up. No excuses, and I hope my kids will come into maturity on our Chinese context of greeting the elders. If I don't impose this, I will be condemned as a bad mother. From the sound of this, you would know that I don't actually give a damn. All my cousins, even being 30 and 40++ years old greet some of my elderly relatives not that they really cared but with a forced sense of obligation. So how's that working out for anyone? 

Personally, I feel that heartfelt thanks mean a million times more than a lip-service thanks. Although of course no one has X-ray eyes to read your hearts, so saying it out loud is also important. So again that's my bad because I don't even believe in superficial thanks. Thank for the sake of thanking is no thanks. There are other ways to show appreciation but well, I will stop right here. 

Okay, before you think that I've gotten a bad experience, please don't. 

In fact, I saw how congeniality works. 

For the first time, I thought, wow, so this is how it feels like when you find people with the same interests offering to lend a hand. Time became external. Soul flows. I saw a ray of hope.

But now it's not gonna work.

Perhaps I should just fucking make more friends. LOLOLOLOLOLOL.