I'm only beginning!

A very long time ago, a fellow acquaintance asked me-- "how old are you?"

I replied -- "Today is the last day I'm 29"

The next day, she bought me a small piece of cake.
Aw, she didn't have to, I didn't know her, but she did.

***

Today is the last day I'm 42.

I hope I'm halfway through my life, and may I ask to be blessed with good heath, great energy to go jolly until I am old. Never to be pruned. Always to be kind, and always to be contented. I have to ask for all these because I might forget to be kind (oh it's so easy to forget that!) and I know it is so easy to feel lack. So yes, I need to ask for that.

(pruned = annoying, grumpy old person)  sorry, my friend always says she has to look up the dictionary every time she reads my blog and she tells me she's not kidding.  . . . . .  so please forgive my redundancy if any). 

Some of the days are dark for me. Because there's this fear about failing my children.
The first quarter of my life I feared about failing my parents. The next quarter of my life I feared about failing my children.
And then all sorts of self-worthlessness seeps in.

But the core of me knows that it is not true.

The core of me knows that nobody had failed me, likewise, I have failed nobody. 

***

That night at Colin's concert, it was a very different set-up. That music school, I mean. 

It is very different from the other concerts I've been to. The other concerts had very high standard showcase on each and every piece, including ensembles . It was a showcase of their bests. Then it occurred to me that Colin's music school had a few good showcases, but they've also got many group performances that looked a tad careless. I thought to myself-- this would never happen at the other music school. I mean, they would not put forth a performance like that because they will only showcase their best of bests. They will only show you perfection.  Then it occurred to me further, that Colin's school did not put up a strict audition. They let ALL their students play. Then I wondered to myself-- Is this good or is this bad?  Is this a big fish in small pond or a small fish in big pond scenario? Anyway, that aside, it dawned on me that whether the kids plays perfectly or less, they all put in their soul. So have their parents. It was a different pond, no less.

 Colin drew me a birthday card. It has tiered cake, can you see it? And a Christmas tree.

 He also drew me fruits.

 Kiki drew me also a tiered cake.

 And seashells

Iresh bought me my first birthday cake.
To remind me that life is sweet. LOL.