Punch Rate

Last evening, I went to fetch Kiki from Piano class.

Normally, when I'm early, I would just take a peep at her, see how she's doing in class, so it was the same last evening. To my utmost shock, I saw her teacher punching a key aggressively, demonstrating to Kiki the correct key while Kiki was playing one of the songs. I was puzzled because her teacher has always been very soft spoken and demure. Again, she punched the particular key with such force that I was taken aback. Then I heard her said in a very, very stern tone - Right Hand!  (pause) Now both hands!   In a strained, controlled but stern voice, she repeated- Both hands! (and some other things I can't remembered what she said). I was quite shocked. Firstly, I think sometimes when I practice violin with Kiki, I also talked like that. Terrible, and unnecessarily fierce. Secondly, I feel offended that she's talking to Kiki like that. I mean, she could have talked to me instead.

Immediately, I feel like quitting that place. Then I thought about how receptive her teacher was in the early years, and also about the exams next month. I think, the teacher must feel stressed because it appears that we are not ready. I am quite puzzled also because Kiki was playing well some 3 or 4 weeks ago. I'm not sure why her piano playing had deteriorated until her teacher got so angry. Of course the main culprit is me, because I don't practise with her. So I was feeling very bad that Kiki bore the brunt of our lack of piano practice. 

I went back and sit at the waiting area. After class, the teacher was in all smiles. I asked her how was the session, she told me that we need to practise more. She says that exam is not the time to be playing at a "practise" standard but at a "performance" standard. I agree with her totally, it is just that she had not expressed any displeasure whatsoever. Why then take it out on Kiki??????

While walking home, we detoured to have some snacks. 

I asked Kiki how she feels about her teacher. How she feels when someone speaks to her in such a fierce manner. She kept quiet and didn't answer. I prompted and asked if she feels angry, hurt, frightened, or frustrated?  She says she just feel like boxing them (whoever that's scolding her). I was shocked. I said - "Box"?  She said - Ya, like that-- (threw punches in the air). Hahahaha. I said well, that's an avenue to let off frustration but perhaps she can take it out with a physical exercise like cycling or something. I went on and asked if that's the case, have she ever felt like boxing me since I "scold" her all the time during violin practise. She said in a matter-of-factly,  that her piano teacher, she would "box" once, Maricar- four, Me- two, and her ex-childcare teachers- six.   It took me 3 seconds to realise she had given us a "punch rate"  (!!!!!!!)   My goodness. I am ashamed. 

She has endured so much pent-up anger and I have only realised that. 

Imagine Six punches for her childcare?????????????

Six times worse than what I've just witnessed at piano?

Three times worse than my outburst?  (And I consider my outburst 90% on a 100% horrid scale). 

Gosh. I need to stop this and I need to teach them to handle highly charged criticisms.

I have explained to her that her teachers, in most parts, are just expecting her to improve or they are frustrated because they think she can do better, hence the scoldings. I've told her that the outbursts are not directed at her and she must always talk to me. Furthermore, we can discuss and there is always the option to stop class. However, we must first put in our effort. If not, then we deserve to be scolded but not to take it personal. 

Wa...... got to really chit-chat with our children, man. 

 Soya Chicken Wings 

Korean - Chicken Up. 

Lunch with ex-colleague. 

Supposedly monthly lunch but became quarterly cos everyone is busy.