Last day of work for the year

Tomorrow cutting hair liao. 

I've used many jars of MAC colours. My favourite colours are purple and yellow-gold.

 Symphony of Efficiency 

An overnight sensation is 30 years in the making 

Year of Heartbreak - 2017

Normally, I'll write a year-end closing post. Some kind of reflection for the year that's ending. 

But last year I skipped that because I didn't want to put much attention onto a year's end. I thought to just let it be seamless because it is just another day. But no, my psyche still needs to have starts and ends. If not I might as well be a machine. However, I do not plan what to write, I just type whatever's on my mind. But I try to be mindful to be responsible for the energy I bring to anywhere, including online. But you will have to realize that running thoughts are nothing but running. They come and go, while they are real at real-time, they are dynamic and have lives of their own. It is the same with anything because things are fluid. 

2017 had been a heart-breaking year because my sis and her ex-husband had separated. 

I am not able to talk about it because tears will fill my eyes. Including now as I type. 

Of all the things that had gone right and all the things that had gone awry, I think, mostly things went awry long ago but we had never, in a million years, saw this coming. 

It's like having your last breath knocked out. 

It hurts like hell.

So, whatever the case, we still have to deal with the aftermath. At this point in time, we are in hiding.  We have been in hiding for a few months now. We do not want to break the bad news before CNY as we do not want to deal with responses and questions because I think, we are unable to deal with them. So, for now, we are just laying low and intentionally being absent.

We will do our best to get over this. But it takes time. 

So that is one large part of my life that is in pain. 

Hopefully, our hearts will become whole again. 

On a lighter note, Happy New Year. 

Today is a great day because I have finally cleared my credit bills. 

It's like having checked-out from the drug rehab center, feeling clean but lost. 

Because I will have to start over. 

Little by little, I will have to rebuild my bank account to a level I feel safe. 

To think about it is rather daunting, like an insurmountable goal. 

To plan the stuff I wanna do is also so discouraging. Because it looked like it will take a long while. 

So, I don't wanna think anymore. Well, at least for the time being just take a break, and celebrate that I'm on a clean slate. So, Happy New Year ya. 

So, now, what's brewing?

Nothing much. 

I have finally reached the level where I genuinely care nothing for the antics of office politics. (cross my heart). I see a Circles playing on and while I feel sad for their state of insecurity, I am even more sadden to see that great lengths went into plotting. I do not have the capabilities to affect them positively. So, the only thing left for me to do is to carry on doing my part, for the company, for myself, just stay focused because doing proper work will already take up much energy, so use my energy wisely. 2018 will be a busy year. 

So, my dear friends, I leave you with nothing but good wishes. 

Thanks for sticking it out with me. 

Random

 Old notes from the ATM, must show KiCo the difference with the new, plastic notes.

Starting over, save fast with fives.  

Totally presumptuous & obnoxious to choose an adoption based on looks. 

Lame to the max. 

First time saying this was in 2010.

Seven years on, STILL RECAP THE SAME FUCKING LAME VIEW PLUS SAYING IT WAS SERIOUS. OMG. nothing much developed in the seven years that had passed. 

Sorry! I mustn't judge others!   -_-"""

I have to only judge myself. Not others. 

Maybe she meant it as a joke. 

Sketches

 I took this screen grab to sketch in some dots and dashes. 

 Spruced up the above a little. 

I was bored while surfing the net. So I thought I'll just doodle a little. 

Charmaine

This is Charmaine, Bren's sister. 

About three months back, she began to lose a lot of flesh (muscles) and she became even more difficult to look at, skin to bones. Bren brought her to the doctor at Polyclinic, the doctor advised that there's nothing wrong with her, as in her vital organs are functioning fine. She eats, poops and sleeps as per usual, so I guess it is part of her body's condition as it ages? (cerebral palsy).

As difficult as it may be, I've suggested for Bren to check out the arrangements for the hospice to take Charmaine in. I feel that we have done all that we could for many, many years, we'll see what else we might be able to do for her now. Since the passing of my FIL, as well as having my MIL moved to the rehabilitation hospice, Charmaine has got more space and is so much less cranky, less screaming, less crying.  

The kids are not frightened by Charmaine's look because they grew up seeing her. 

There are times they sit and "play" with her. Like they play with their toys and pretends that Charmaine is their customer or something. (eg: Cafe setting / Cooking) They ask her questions and pretend-play. They even watch YouTube with her (as if Charmaine understands but she doesn't). Colin, for one, would hug and put his arms around Charmaine, in a friendly & loving manner. This is something even I can't do. Sometimes, I think my kids teach me about openness more than me teaching them. 

Christmas 2017

 I didn't know that my mensus was coming.

 No wonder I was sooooooooooo lethargic that night.......

 Terrible photo quality not from my mobile phone. They are from my Aunt's Oppo phone -_-"

 Lucky Draw 

 New niece.... Zoey or Joey?

 mouse not included =_=   had to go buy it separately 

 Starbucks 

Friday Night

 My sis came to fetch me, so I asked her to join us for a while. 

Friday Night (Part 1)

 I saw this lady when I was boarding the train. She went left and I took the right because I didn't want to feel laughable bumping into her-- we were wearing the same dress! LOL.
After I've alighted from the train, I've walked a distance from the linked walkway to transfer to another train when I saw  the same lady in front of me. LOL. So I slowed down my pace.
Forgettable, mass style.

 Bobbi Brown Christmas 2017 Luxe Minis 

I had long intended to get this set of mini-lipsticks for my aunts & cousins for Christmas. I thought, each person pick a colour, how ideal.

To my dismay, the limited set was sold out at many stores (I went to Isetan Katong, Wisma, Taka, Centrepoint, Tangs, all sold out). They didn't have a centralized inventory system (perhaps some stores are run by different management or franchisee?) and the staff told me that that set have all been sold out island-wide. I felt stupid to have waited till the last minute to get my stuff but I had wanted to hold true to my financial schedule so I've told myself to think of some other gifts, surely there will be other suitable gifts, right? (although they are not as cute as these mini-lipsticks)

Long story short-- while I wasn't hunting, I found it.

I was just passing by the store at Robinson (Raffles City) and I thought it was not possible for that high-traffic store to still have stock of this set. But I thought what would it cost to ask?  So I asked and was delighted it was available!

Thank you, Universe. I know you're so encouraging to me.