Last Saturday, as I wrapped some presents, I asked Kiki to help me write some greetings on the gift cards, she added some doodles on her own. When we got to the card for Stephanie, she asked who Stephanie is. I explained that Stephanie is Papa's ex-colleague, a colleague is someone you work with at work / office, some colleagues become friends. I also added that Stephanie is my old classmate and that she had introduced Papa to me. Kiki said - "But she gave you the wrong guy, right?" Astonished, I asked what made her say that. She said - "You said that you don't love Papa anymore". Oh............ the things I had said when I was very upset. Ya. I explained-- "Yes, I was very angry sometimes. Especially when Papa goes out drinking with his friends and come back so late. It makes me worry, and worry and worry and I hate it. He never texts, he never calls, he's just making me worried." "But it doesn't mean I don't love him." So confusing it must be. Then she said- "Ya, you can't change (a husband) after you get married". I paused for a second before saying- "Well, you try not to change (a husband) after you get married. But if you really can't work it out, you can separate. But you have to try to work it out, many, many times. But you have a choice although it would be very sad especially if you've got children but separated." Kiki- "Because they will have no Papa". Me- "They still have their Papa but separated."
There was once a colleague, congratulated another colleague who just got married. The groom replied in jest, he said-- "to be happy in marriage, you've got to do it twice." Everyone laughed off the awkwardness because it was his second marriage.
I recently came across a TED video about marriage. The counsellor said that for every of her patients that goes to her for marriage counselling; she says this to them: "Your first marriage is over." (Because most were already almost emotionally divorced by the time they seek counselling)
The counsellor continued- "Now you have the choice to decide if you want to marry (each other) again."
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