Bad debts, pay off quickly.

Last night, my FIL was hammering away - Bong Bong Bong.

When I entered the room to take a look, he got aggressive and shouted at me for being a "trouble-maker". I haven't even spoken but he already has a slew of speech in his head, just waiting to be off-loaded onto me. I had to keep my cool despite witnessing him dismantling the window GRILL plus the aluminum glass panel FRAME. Basically, anyone can now climb into my house freely. Not that anyone would, but anyone could. 

Having came home late after fetching Colin from phonics (work journey, waiting time, bus ride, walk home) and I was in the midst of checking Kiki's school bag; sign forms for extra Chinese tuition, sign Chinese Ting Xie book, sign notice of change in Math teacher (why change teacher in term 3?) when the commotion took place. So after having no leeway with my FIL, the frustration was building up inside me. I had then spoke to Kiki in a terribly harsh manner about her school work. Which was nothing to fuss about actually. Then I stopped myself and apologized to her. I said I was sorry, I was only very frustrated that I feel like punching Grandpa or punching something, like I want to wrangle something. I was so sad when Kiki replied that she felt the same. Then I quickly told her that you know, Grandpa, Granny, are not her problems. They are our problems and we are dealing with it. The only consolation if there could ever be one, is that finally Brendan has sort of "found peace" with the situation. He stopped being an asshole who kept criticizing us for not checking on his parents. His parents are non-controllable. My FIL is like a rat, he could smuggle any food and any items & valuables into his room. Sometimes, food rot. And most times, my items get wrangled and vandalized. He also throws debris into the toilet bowl and WE ONLY HAVE ONE TOILET IN THE HOUSE OF EIGHT PERSONS. Bren used to criticize that we didn't intercept my FIL. Like ya, right, intercept him at 4am? There is no telling when he was going to do what. All my Cornelle bowls are missing. My WMF cutlery missing. Even when I started using METAL PLATES, they also went missing. FOUR METAL PLATES.

Anyway, of late, Bren has a change of attitude. He has finally got down to bathe his mother, feed her and change her soiled diapers. And he has tried to intercept and manage his father. Slightly manageable but then came one episode of broken grills and window panes... 

I used to have a lot of anger issues. But not anymore. 

Some people tell me that God will bless those who cares for the aged and the sick. 

I want to tell them to tell God that I am certainly not up to that task. 

I am a Buddhist. This is my Karmic Debt. There is no running but still, there is praying. And there is this thing called a good attempt.

Surely I can't pray them away, but I can pray for tools to manage them. I can pray for help.

I am not a bitter person and if there's any consolation at all-- I have emerged less bitter about this.