Mr. Wick

 perhaps influenced by my growing up years in a hooligan school, these kinds of underworld movies draw me. regular people void of underworld rules will not be able to understand the extent of holding up one's promise and its repercussions in honouring it as well as not fulfilling it. the underworld is a different place from our regular world. there is no room for romance, it's a hard place for any forms of kinship. hopefully, the underworld is a thing of the past, hopefully, it becomes fiction.

 I have come to realise that I had stopped smiling for........ several years.
I think not having to pretend that all is well is a form of liberty.
My world is far from happy but I am not miserable. I am just "like that".
Of course if things could go my way, I would love to have much changes.
But I do not have super-power to make things happen, but I can still give praise to my life with my honest feelings.

People look back 20 years and they will all say that some things could have been done better.
All people, all kinds of people. Including the brightest of people. Especially the brightest of people.
So what I do is, I pretend I am, say-- 60 years old, looking back at me now.
What could I have done better? I ask. Nothing that I do now would have been so wrong by then; I think. Because the 40plus-year-old self (me now) will do the so-called "better" ways now, so that the 60plus me, is approving.

So anyway, I am happy that I've allowed myself to brood if brooding feels congenial for now.

additional recess snack to share with her friends