one evening, Kiki's teacher did a review with me on the telephone. she raised an observation that Kiki seemed to be a little emotionally insecure (always seeking approval or assurance), and asked what our home situation is like. that took me by surprise and as i explained about the two elderly folks handicapped with stroke and dementia, and about Charmaine, and about how i reach home every night and i don't get to see the kids or even if i do, there is no quality time, i choked back my tears. i had not realised how this may have an effect on Kiki. time and attention is being spread so thinly that she may feel neglect. but that honestly is not the reason i cried. the reason is that it sounded so much like me before and it breaks my heart if that's the challenge she has. well, to look at the good in the bad, at least we now know about it and could do something about it. the teacher advised that it was good that i've told her more so that she knows that the insecurity stems from a real need and not out of attention seeking. for me, i was just surprised that as much as i had conditioned my mind that all is well, i realised that i was just putting on a brave front. well, all is not that dire a situation, we are doing fine. it is just the quality of life that could be better and I hope we get there.
well, like what i've learned in NLP, there's no failure, only feedback. so ya, here is a feedback to tell me to let go of trying to be everything and it is important to be present, especially with my children.
Jia you, KC! :)
ReplyDeleteHm... Might be the character of the first born. A1 is always seeking approval even from me. He is a timid boy and actually he feels insecure going to school. And we do spend lots of family time togather. You are already doing great! And you are right, no failure only feedback. All the best.
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